‘Twas The Month After Christmas” (Dieting)
Twas the month after Christmas,
and all through the house,
Nothing would fit me,
not even a blouse.
The cookies I’d nibbled,
the eggnog I’d taste,
At the holiday parties,
had gone to my waist.
When I got on the scales,
there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store,
(less a walk than a lumber).
I’d remember the marvelous,
meals I’d prepared;
The gravies and sauces,
and beef nicely rared,
The wine and the rum balls,
the bread and the cheese,
and the way I’d never said,
“No, thank you, please.”
As I dressed myself,
in my husband’s old shirt,
and prepared once again,
to do battle with dirt,
I said to myself,
as I only can
“You can spend a winter
disguised as a man!”
So-away with the last,
of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruit cake,
every cracker and chip.
Every last bit of food,
that I like must be banished
Till all the additional,
ounces have vanished.
I won’t have a cookie,
not even a lick.
I’ll want only to chew,
on a long celery stick.
I won’t have hot biscuits,,
or corn bread, or pie,
I’ll munch on a carrot,
and quietly cry.
I’m hungry, I’m lonesome,
and life is a bore-
But isn’t that what,
January is for?
Unable to giggle,
no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all,
and to all a good diet!
Print Free File: Dieting Christmas Poem
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